How Malls are Protecting Santa, and Potentially the World…
When the COVID-19 pandemic began to spread throughout the United States in March, the only thing on everyone’s mind was Santa Claus.
“We know that some animals can technically contract COVID-19, but we don’t know what that means for magical animals. And sadly, that could include Santa’s reindeer,” said Sara Skelf, a pandemic and transcendent being expert. She continued, “We unfortunately don’t have the resources to provide tests to the North Pole but we know that if anyone on Santa’s team catches it, it won’t just be kids in America who are affected. Christmas will be ruined for millions of children across the world.”
“We just don’t know exactly what could happen if COVID-19 somehow made its way to the North Pole,” said Andrew Lucent, a self-proclaimed Santa scholar, “There’s plenty of data on how humans can react to the virus, but if Santa got it, we don’t know exactly what other factors might come into play. It could cancel Christmas this year, end it forever, he could not be affected, he could turn evil and enslave us all, we don’t know. It’s imperative that we do not allow him to come into contact with anyone who could even potentially be positive for the virus.”
With new restrictions in place ushering in the holiday season, malls across the country scrambled to creatively plan ways for children to visit Santa without exposing the jolly elf to the virus.
“When we heard that the virus wasn’t getting any better in September, we knew that we would have to come up with a safer way for children to see Santa,” said East Lakeside Mall Director, Amber Bell, “I love kids, but when they’re sitting on Santa’s lap, you know they’re wiping their noses on their hands and then touching his beard, they’re breathing heavily because they’re excited, and to me, not only is that gross, it seems like a recipe for disaster.
To allow Santa to safely visit the mall, Bell and her team turned to re-purposing and giving new life to an old method of transportation.
“Our elevator was really not being used with customers not coming in and most of the upper level going out of business, so my team and I looked at those glass walls and something just clicked. I mean, I almost struggle to take credit for it because it was so simple,” Bell laughed, her eyes flashing a quick expression of immense pain, “So when parents bring their kids to see Santa, obviously with masks and being distant and all that good stuff, we really encourage them to just bring a poster board with what their child would like to ask Santa for written in large letters on it and he will read it while going up and down in our state-of-the-art, glass-walled elevator. It’s a really easy way to see Santa, and if you time it right, you can still get some really nice pictures. We’re really excited about it.”
We here at Memestudium want to wish all of our readers a safe and happy holiday season, and hope that you are able to take advantage of the new ways to visit Santa this year.
