Unprecedented Increase in Exaggerated ‘Sighs’ Expected to Exacerbate COVID-19 Pandemic

Scientists at NABISCO (National Association of Breathing Institute Science Center Organization) are sharing details about an increase in big, exaggerated ‘sighs’ and how these ‘sighs’ will cause an increase in the amount of COVID-19 cases in the United States.

“We are expecting an unprecedented number of ‘sighs’ on November 3rd. Big ‘sighs’ can increase the distance of airborne droplets, causing more individuals to come in contact with droplets containing the coronavirus,” says William BelVita, Chief Breathing Officer at NABISCO.

Dr. BelVita continues, “The intensity of these ‘sighs’ will also be unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. We are not sure if masks will be able to handle the intensity of these ‘sighs’.”

The November 3rd election in the United States has been a hot button topic in the US and anywhere that has electricity. Many people have already been increasing the amount of ‘sighs’ they release on a day-to-day basis, and today will surely be one of the worst when it comes to ‘sighs’.

“Yeah, I usually just start my day with one big one, and then many small ones as the day goes on and I get bombarded with more and more until I get closer and closer to my mental breaking point. [November 3rd ] is going to be interesting to see whether or not I’ll be able to inhale at all,” says Everyone

I was going to continue here with more memes and stuff but forget it, sigh…